Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
