grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
where are my pants?
in the oven.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
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