Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
