but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Can you repeat that, but with context?
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
