Whod you bang
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
