She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
