Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Randomize
