So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
