Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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