so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
