question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
of course. lets lasso hookers.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
