all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
