i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
