Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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