I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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