His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
NoShamevember. You game?
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
