I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
