I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
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