Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
