We're like a lot better than the average bears
margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
