I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
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