Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
wow bdsm is so cute
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Randomize
