So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Randomize