At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
