Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize