i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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