i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
