party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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