I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
