Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
