Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
