We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
