u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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