she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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