did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Randomize
