how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
