so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
