Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
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