I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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