Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
