Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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