Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
