Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
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