did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
