Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Let's paint friendship bongs
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
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