hell yes lets make some ravioli
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
