On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
