Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
