We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
