oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize