I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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