no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Randomize
