he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
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