Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Randomize
