i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
NoShamevember. You game?
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
