He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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