Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
