I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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