don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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