i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
So here I am, sexting at work.
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