Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
