Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Randomize
